[Nawooz.Com.My]

It’s the time when ghost and ghouls are free to roam this world. I’m not trying to scare my readers, but do take care during this month. Stay in after dark to avoid any unwanted experiences and pray to whoever you believe in.

My friends and I learnt the hard way. It was a weekend during this inauspicious month for the Chinese. Mom warned me about the dangers, but I decided to hangout with friends anyway. We had our usual yum cha session accompanied by the usual crapping. After growing restless of sitting around, we decided to get in the car for a drive. Shum wanted to explore a particular area in Cheras, where we haven’t gone before. Everyone agreed to this plan and so I drove.

Things were chillax and quiet, as it was in the wee hours of morning. We had the car windows down and we’re basically enjoying the calmness, broken occasionally by friendly banter. Out of nowhere, Shum instructed me to turn into this lane. It was really dark there. On our right were some old flats/apartments and a hill flanked the left. My headlights suddenly gave realization, that it was a dead-end road. Our eyes grew wide with fear. We were all facing Chinese burnt offerings. Hell notes, candles and joss sticks. Not a very welcoming sign. The road width was narrow, but I succeeded in performing a three-point turn. I was praying hard the wheels did not hit any of the offerings. Bad omen.

After that, we decided to call it a night and head back home to Sani’s place nearby. This was where things got interesting. I’m anal about people messing with my car. Most of my friends and even wife knows this. Slam the car doors and I will reprimand you. So we were nearing Sani’s house and negotiating this speed bump. I hear a sound from the backseat. It sounded like someone pressing down the doorlock knob on the left side. Why would my friend lock the door now when we were so close to his house?? Anyway, I ignore it and continue driving. Then I hear a noise again from the same area. This time, it sounded like someone unlocked the door. However, it did not stop. It happened a few times in a row like someone playing on the locking mechanism. Ticked off, I decided to tell Sani, who was seated behind, to knock it off. Sani replied meekly, in an almost boyish voice, that it wasn’t him. I checked the rear mirror and noticed that he was seated behind me….on the right side. Something inside me wanted to scream, “OH SHIET!!!!!!!”. I checked with Shum, who was riding shotgun, if he heard the sounds. He confirmed this as well. We all fell silent and I floored the car. Pulled up in front on Sani’s house, wound up the windows and freaking got away from the car.

Once safely inside, we huddled together in the living room with the Wadafak ™ faces. Slowly, we began to tell our side of the story of what just transpired. Shum heard it too. He thought it was Sani messing around as well. Well, so did I! Sani heard it too!!!! He just kept quiet after the first sound and didn’t dare look to his left. He kept looking out his right window. Until he heard me scold him for messing around with the car lock.

Now, I know my car was old. It was made in 1983 and was about 20+ years old at that time. However, I swear that I’ve never heard or seen my car lock acting all weird. Only on that eventful night. We shall never know what we just experienced, but we sure as hell don’t wish to go through it again. So heed my words. Stay inside.

On lighter note, I had a chat with an old friend today. I’m proud to announce that Jessica Goon, is now officially Dr. Jess Goon @ Dr. Goonie. She has more aliases, but I’m afraid she will “CSI” me later. I shall pimp this Doc’s blog (it rhymes). Check it out at: http://reverseinlife.blogspot.com/. Dr. Goon pulled the cliched, “How’s married life?” on me. Thankfully, I’ve concocted a superb comeback for this dratted question. This will be the official Nawooz ™ future response for all aunties, uncles, relatives, friends, family, pet cat and what not. Might even save my arse during Chinese New Year 2008.

Not Nawooz: Soooooooo…how’s married life ar??!!

Nawooz: It’s like bittersweet chocolates.

Nawooz: Sometimes sweet. Sometimes bitter. But you always end up wanting more.

Not Nawooz: @_@ dot dot dot

How? Good ar? Can pass or not? Give some applause leh! Not easy to come up with these crap you know…. >_<”

UPDATE FROM ICU: Wifey’s aunt is not doing well again. Her blood pressure has been on the rise. So high, that it warranted another CT scan to assess the situation. Once again, Nawooz is requesting for prayers to help her and the family, pull through this time of test.

If SEX was the first thing on your mind, don’t worry. You’ll most probably join the other 70% of the human race out there. Buuuuutt, I’m sorry Nawooz doesn’t deliver…

Cracking my head for a title and this was the first thing that came to my mind. Quickie = fast and scratch = my handwritting when hurried is like cakar ayam (chicken scratch).

1) I miss my mom’s cooking SOOOOOOOOOOOO bad. Dad and mom have been happily gallivanting all over Oz. Wonder if they forgot all about us >_<”

2) Now I know how much money it takes to keep the house running and food on the table. Gosh, we eat like pigs!!! Muahahaha. *points finger at piggie sister and runs. wheeeee!~*

3) Wife and I are deciding to spice up aiSumomo (http://aisumomo.multiply.com/) with some radical ideas. We’re planning on offering Cosplay stuff. For the uninitiated, think kinky wear. Nurse outfits, cute Japanese schoolgirl uniforms, French maid costumes and the whole enchilada. Think out of the box they say. Let me know what you think mmmkayyyy. Maybe can give Nawooz readers a special discount. ^__^ Good for surprising your significant other, be it the person on the receiving or giving end. Also makes a good wedding gift, no? The possibilities are endless.

4) Tonight will be the last day of my night shift for this week. Pray it will be nice and un-eventful.

5) Signed myself up for company’s Paintball outing next Saturday. Gonna be mozzie food, due to it being a rec-ball setup in the jungle. Hands itching to fire a marker again and cause grown men to weep in pain. Rawr!!!!~

6) My left foot’s big toe is still swollen, thanks to a piece of heavy wood smashing it. I’ve been using the traditional Chinese medicine rub for it and it seems to be getting better, albeit a little slow. Don’t think there’s a hairline fracture, since I can move the limb fine. So does this mean I’m gonna get wooden superpowers???!!! I’m kinda wishing it was a spider now.

Ok, that’s all for now folks. Remember, drive fast but drive safe. Friend’s grandma handed this jewel of advice down to us. 

Anyone on the receiving or giving end of today’s topic, please raise your hand. I’m guessing all of you have faced it either way. It could be between siblings, lovers, married couples, friends and the list goes on.

I’m particularly curious about jealousy in a relationship. Does your current partner have an issues with your ex? I mean in a really hostile way to the extent it ruins the mood? What is it that triggers this jealousy? Does it stem from some insecurity in that individual?

My personal opinion. It’s utter rubbish. Why do you think they coined the term, ex? It’s in the past. It’s over and done with. So why are we dwelling on the past and making the current and future miserable? It’s different if someone doesn’t let go of the past and choses not to embrace the future. It’s different if they are still harbouring regrets. It’s different if he/she is cheating on their current partner, with their ex. I stand by the old adage, “Innocent until proven guilty”.

There is no point making the waters murky, by stirring the mud at the bottom. Leave the mud as it is, at the bottom. Buried. If not for the past, would he or she be, what they are today? It’s the lessons learnt, which they carry forward. It’s important for the individuals’ personal growth.

In conclusion, banish the jealousy. It does not bring any value or good to the relationship. If you think you can’t, then I think you should sit down and really ask yourself what you want. Time can be spent in much better ways, than fretting and worrying over trivial matters. It makes you old. ^__^

This is a community message brought to you by Nawooz.

I’M WEIRD AND I KNOW I AM!!!!

There. I’ve got that off my chest. So you don’t need to tell me I’m a weirdo. I don’t know about you, but Nawooz gets most of his inspiration at one particular spot at home. It’s like the entire cosmos gather at this particular spot. Where’s this magical spot??!! My bathroom. Yes you heard right, it’s my bathroom!!!

I get most of my inspiration to blog etc etc and random ideas such as business proposals in my bathroom. During my showers, brushing my teeth or whilst seated on my “throne”. If you can’t guess what the polite term meant, it’s the toilet bowl. Hell, I’ve even conjured up a random 4D number while I was showering one morning. I asked my mom to purchase the ticket, but forgot to tell her I wanted it from Toto. Lets just say a small voice told me to buy Toto after the number came to mind. My mom ended up buying from Magnum instead. Guess what??!! The number came up as 1st prize!!! ….But in Toto. WADAFAK(TM)?????!!!!!!!! What are the odds of that happening? Got the 1st prize number in the bathroom. Even got “told” the establishment to buy from, but screwed up being a millionaire. Royally pissed me off.

As mentioned earlier, I also get my blogging topics from my bathroom. It’s like my sacred spot for the mysteries of life to be revealed. However, my bathroom still hasn’t “told” me the answer to the life-changing question for men, “What do women really want?”. I have a feeling my bathroom is a guy, hence it’s having some problems with this question as well. Anyone out there, who can perform a sex change for it? Then I can make back the millions I lost earlier from that botched Toto plan.

The bathroom is also the place where I “digest” my issues and then try to formulate solutions. Technical question from my job. I’ll work it out in the bathroom. Family issues? I’ll see what advice the bathroom has for me. Relationship issues? Let me go consult Dr. Love Bathroom. Bad day? Sing in the bathroom at the top of my lungs and let the shower wash the suay (bad luck) away. It helps having a nice spacious bathroom though, like mine. It’s almost as big as my room. Kinda pathetic, but it’s the Magical, Mysterious, Magnificent, Mind-boggling, Must-have bathroom for me.

If only I can carry my bathroom with me everywhere. I’ll solve issues faster that way. Kinda like how convenient it would be for Clark Kent to have a portable phone booth each time he has to change into Superman. However, Nawooz’s bathroom is much much better space-wise. I can almost imagine the bruised elbows and agony Clark has to endure in such a tight space. Spandex samore! Poor guy. Maybe I’ll loan him my bathroom one of these days.

I’m gonna take up Lisan’s tag from this post: http://lisansscribbles.blogspot.com/2007/07/original-prankster.html. Stories about being naughty in secondary school??? Meh, I’ve been naughty for life. So I’ll skip all the original restrictions and go full monty.

1) Secretly found my dad’s stash of medicine and ate them. Thought they were sweets, sis thought so too. Parents freaked and forced us to vomit.

2) Kicked a Malay kid in the balls during kindergarten. I was the Chinese gang’s so call tai kor (big boss) that time and this dude was asking for trouble. Met up with him during recess and he scratched my neck with both hands, leaving an awful wound. I kicked him in the balls. Still wonder how I got away scot-free on that one.

3) Slapped a boy in my sister’s class for bullying her and dared him to call his parents.

4) Modified a lighter and burnt a cockroach’s feelers. After being bored of it running around in circles, I roasted him.

5) Under the pretext of helping my neighbour clean their back garden, I started a fire to burn dead leaves. Friend added Ridsect spray to the open flames. Bad idea! The entire hill brush caught fire and firemen had to come to put it out. There were high-tension wires on the hill (supplying electricity). Laughed at the neighbour, who was trying to put out the raging inferno with a hose trickling water. Ran back home, but got ratted out by the same neighbour. Ouch!

6) Swung the swing my sister was seated on too hard. Sis fell to the ground. Physics in motion on said swing + head = bald spot on sister’s head till today. I’m sorry >_<

7) Used to find sticking the water pipe up dad’s car exhaust amusing. Even better when the water pipe was turned on. Dad wondered why the car didn’t start next morning. Found this out whilst washing his car. Kids and boredom do not go well in most cases.

Stole dad’s Scout pen-knife and decided to go Rambo. Was cutting some twigs to make an arrow when I sliced off the flesh on my left index finger. Cut was so deep, it hit bone. No shit. I endured the pain for a couple of days until I noticed it oozing yellowish-brown substance. Dad fixed me up reallll good after that. He cleaned the wound and poured Iodine on it. I guess that is how I’ve developed some resistance to pain. Sadist!

9) Used to fold paper planes and parachute-like soldiers during my APIIT KL college days. A bunch of us would then open the windows on the 10th floor or so and launch the said items. Closed the windows and observed them fly!!!! Many a paper plane and brave paratrooper died under the crunch of Petaling Street’s traffic. A moment of silence for the men of the, [aSa] School of Aviation and Flight wing.

10) Made calls from a public phone to the eejit, who called and cursed one of my friends in the wee hours of morning with phrases like, “Good morning, it’s time to go to the loo”. Took turns doing this a couple of times.

11) Terrorized the couples in mini-Genting with our fireworks. Sometimes with homemade timers to enable swift escape from the “crime scene”.

12) Pranked my mom’s friend by imitating our kettle whistling when the water was boiling. She would run frantically to turn off the gas, only to find the kettle safely stored in the cabinets. Sorry Aunty Mae Jae! I’m such a devil.

There are so many more, but I’m running out of steam to type. Furthermore, some of them are better carried with me to my grave. For those who happened to cross my path during my mischevious streaks, I’m really sorry for all the trouble and trauma I’ve caused. Let me make it up to you with a firecracker in your letterbox. Ooooppss, that makes it 13 for now. ^__^”

I can’t really recall when was the last time I posted something amusing/funny. So please enjoy this gem, courtesy of my dear wife.

I arrived home at about 10.00pm last night and boy was I hungry. I was halfway chomping down on my dinner, when all of a sudden my wife comes rushing into the kitchen with a half-scared, half-amused and half-disgusted look. She squealed about a two-headed cockroach in our bedroom. Hoping to see some X-men mutant cockroach, I rushed to the bedroom lest I missed it. Probably could catch it and sell it to some biolab or something or maybe to a freak circus. Maybe I’ll let it bite me and see if I develop cockroach superpowers, just like Spideyman.

Upon seeing the cockroach, I burst out laughing and my wife gave me the wadafak(tm) look. I just told her to leave the two lovebird cockroaches alone. Turns out our “mutant” cockroach were actually cockroaches; a male and female doing the horizontal hanky-panky (more like vertical in this case), right on her wardrobe door. Felt so <i>pai seh</i> to have barged in on their intimate moment. I left to continue my dinner.

Someone tell me why I shouldn’t love my wife now? She even has entertainment for me during meals!!! I’m so gonna die for this post, but who cares. I hope it puts a smile on your face as it did for me.

Cheers!  

I doubt my good friend Shum ever reads my blog. Sooo, I’m gonna just pen his name here in this entry. None of that Mr. X shit.

Shum’s been missing from Malaysia for quite sometime now and I usually chat with him on those rare occasions when he is on MSN. What I like about our conversations are the sheer randomness and crap in it. I thought I have been subjected to many of his bizzare outbursts of randomness ever inflicted on mankind until a few nights ago.

Imagine a flashing MSN message in your task bar. Open it to find the words, “Am I unromantic?”. Wadafak(tm)!!! This kinda question can one hit KO people okay…early in the morning after working 12 hour graveyard shifts samore. Also, I am no Dr. Love okay. Somehow I felt it should have been directed to one of his female friends, seeing how it came from them.

My Mission Impossible was to humour the big oaf. I mean, the gal who told him that must have a cruel bone somewhere in her. Give the poor sod a break, can? He is trying hard to woo you and coming from a guy with no prior experience, cut him some slack lar! You just broke his big heart. Having said that, I don’t understand why he was going after a lawyer chick. Confirm sure kena laser from her.

Then I had the time to sit down and digest it all. What in the world makes a person a romantic or un-romantic? Is there like a clearly defined guideline to being a romantic. I think it really depends a lot on the person on the receiving end’s perception. Take for instance the 2 scenarios below:

Scenario 1: A bouquet of roses (any colour of your choice) + Ferrero Rocher

Scenario 2: Bunch of handpicked roadside weed flowers + M&Ms

You tell me, which one you vote as the Romantic and Un-romantic in this case. I’ll add on more information based on your response. This sounds like fun ^__^V

EDIT: Wadafak(tm) blog.com!! Twice I had to copy-paste this entry as you keep screwing up my posting. First one failed, but thankfully I copied the contents before hitting the Post button. The second time, I had an empty post except for the title and tags. Seriously…wadafak -__-#

I make it a point to read blog updates of my bloglist everytime I’m at work. Especially when I’m on the oh-so-lonesome night shifts.

Lisan of http://lisansscribbles.blogspot.com/ recently had a post about her name. Out of curiosity, I Googled “Nawruz” and found this blog listed as the 17th result. Coolness!!! Naw-Ruz is actually the Iranian/Persian New Year. It also happens to be the Bahá’í New Year, which is my religion. More info about my religion here: http://www.bahai.org/. Naw-Ruz is celebrated on the 21st of March each year. The oddest bit, I’m not even born in the month of March!!! I’m a Capricorn. It’s my parents’ decision to give me this name, so I don’t question it. It’s unique and a great ice-breaker especially when I start speaking in Chinese after the intro. A lot of people think I’m a Malay due to the odd name.

Which reminds me of my first day as a barbarian…I mean librarian, in APIIT. I was standing behind the counter waiting for a senior to finish her task. She looked busy, so I just stood there patiently. After a while, she spun around and asked irritatedly, what I wanted. I told her I was reporting in for duty. She looked shocked as she was expecting a Malay guy instead. Good times. Tee hee hee.

Off topic, I’ve been listening to a LOOOOOTTTT of Anime soundtracks lately. Even bought Yui-chan’s, “Can’t Buy My Love” album due to her song in the Bleach series. More info? Head on over to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yui_(singer) or http://technorati.com/tag/yui. I like her unique voice. Also got some new material from wifey. It’s from Emi Fujita. She does a real good cover of well known titles. Peter Paul and Mary’s - Leaving on a Jetplane, Judy Garland’s -Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Bread’s - If and many many more Oldies. She even does a perfect rendition of Joey Yung’s - Proud of You. So jiwang I tell you. Nice easy listening for the graveyard shifts.

Also remembered that it was today 2 years ago, when Floppie came into our lives (posted a bit late). She brought joy and happiness to us for such a short while, but I still miss her like it was only yesterday. Rest in peace dearest dearest Floppie.

12 July 2005 - 25 July 2005…Never forget

Look at that face…doesn’t it melt your heart

Floppie pretending to be a roasted piggie

I suffer from neck pains and stiff shoulders a LOT due to my poor posture. Yesterday whilst working, I had one of those Wadafak(tm) muscle pains around my left shoulder blade area. It would be alright if I didn’t move it. When I did move, it felt like someone was using a knuckle and driving it into that muscle area. Another way to describe the pain would be, someone pinching that muscle and not letting go.

Needless to say, it’s one of the most irritating pains I have once in a while. As I’m in the office, most of my medical supplies are at home. I do carry some odds and ends with me, hence the “walking pharmacy” terms among close friends, but nothing for muscle/joint pains. I would have killed for a tube of Mentholatum Deep Heat Rub at that point of time, but alas, there was none to be found. The company First Aid kit is sorely lacking in this department. I made a quick call to the Security Room downstairs and was told they had an analgesic spray. Oh Joy!!!! Turns out, it was some weird spray that didn’t provide any relief at all. I made my way back up to my cubicle, all the while walking like a robot and with a twisted face due to the dull pain.

In the end, a colleague named Prem (bless her soul) went down to the sundry shop and got me a bottle of Ammeltz Yoko Yoko. It was Godsent I tell ya!!! It has that nice minty burn when applied and I HEART it very much. For those, who’ve never heard of it. Here is how it looks like:

It’s much better than the Salonpas and Tiger Balm patch I tried. The Salonpas patch could do with better adhesives. It’s very irritating and painful when it keeps coming off along with a couple of body hair. Yeowch! The Tiger Balm patch was worse, I didn’t get any relief from it at ALL!!! It sort of just stuck there looking pretty I guess. If you are like me and fancy a little minty burn action, then stay away from these two products:

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~~~~ The pain is still killing me, but thankfully my wifey packed the Ammeltz Yoko Yoko bottle in my work bag. Love ya MLM!!! Muackz~

*runs off to bathe in Yoko Yoko*

Backdated post. 

Once in a while, I suffer from iamus stupidus. On Monday evening, I suddenly had a stroke of utter randomness. Seeing that it was an Australian Public Holiday, I decided to surprise my wifey with dinner and a brand-spanking-new handphone, since her’s was pretty old and wonky.

I head on over to Digital Mall, PJ to do a little phone shopping. The first two counters made me feel like the invisible man. So I moved to the third counter. I should have smelt a rat, when they were so eager to entertain me. I bet they were smiling in their hearts, on the killing they were gonna make. The Chinese have a crude term for victims like me, “sui yee” or waterfish. They were like sharks smelling blood on me. I found it odd, that a particular phone wifey liked, was priced so much more than what I had anticipated, but silly-billy me stuck on to this counter.

I don’t know how they did it, but I was slowly swayed from one particular model to another. I ended up making the purchase without much hassling too!!! Must be the caffeine. Gotta cut down on strong coffee from the office pantry. Anywho, the phone was a Nokia 6131 since the woman fancied flip phones…but not for long. A storm was brewing.

My wifey checked online and found that the so-called original Nokia phone was actually a rip-off. It was way more expensive than it should have been and it was NOT an original Nokia set, which I specifically told the sales person I wanted. She made a phone call to Nokia and confirmed it was not a original unit. Not even by their authorized distributors. Super Wadafak(tm)!!! The missus was ultra-mega-super-duper P.I.S.S.E.D!!!

She took the unit back and kicked up a storm the size of Hurricane Katrina and settled for a replacement of a Sony Ericsson K810i. By the way, Sony Ericsson rocks mah socks!!! I’ve used many other handphones, but SE still gets the “thumbs-up” from me. Anywho, wifey squeezed them by their balls literally and I guessed they really really messed with the wrong person……person’s wife. Muahahaha. Serves them right. I’m a nice buyer to deal with, but they had to pull a fast one on me. Now they have to face my angry wife. Shiver me timbersssss..Arrrr! Where was I, you ask? I was stuck in the office working. Else they would have had two very pissed of people squeezing their balls. One for each.

Lesson of the day. Don’t ever ever con any person, who is a nice buyer. BUT NEVER EVER EVER con one, that has a wife, with a tiger’s temper. RAWRRRRRRR!!!~

P.S. The SE K810i is really one sweet phone. Wifey loves how it plays her favourite chinese drama serials with no issues and it helps, that it houses a 3.2 MP camera as well. But my SE W810i wins when it comes to annoying the neighbourhood with my playlist. Nyek nyek nyek ^___^