[Nawooz.Com.My]

I’m gonna take up Lisan’s tag from this post: http://lisansscribbles.blogspot.com/2007/07/original-prankster.html. Stories about being naughty in secondary school??? Meh, I’ve been naughty for life. So I’ll skip all the original restrictions and go full monty.

1) Secretly found my dad’s stash of medicine and ate them. Thought they were sweets, sis thought so too. Parents freaked and forced us to vomit.

2) Kicked a Malay kid in the balls during kindergarten. I was the Chinese gang’s so call tai kor (big boss) that time and this dude was asking for trouble. Met up with him during recess and he scratched my neck with both hands, leaving an awful wound. I kicked him in the balls. Still wonder how I got away scot-free on that one.

3) Slapped a boy in my sister’s class for bullying her and dared him to call his parents.

4) Modified a lighter and burnt a cockroach’s feelers. After being bored of it running around in circles, I roasted him.

5) Under the pretext of helping my neighbour clean their back garden, I started a fire to burn dead leaves. Friend added Ridsect spray to the open flames. Bad idea! The entire hill brush caught fire and firemen had to come to put it out. There were high-tension wires on the hill (supplying electricity). Laughed at the neighbour, who was trying to put out the raging inferno with a hose trickling water. Ran back home, but got ratted out by the same neighbour. Ouch!

6) Swung the swing my sister was seated on too hard. Sis fell to the ground. Physics in motion on said swing + head = bald spot on sister’s head till today. I’m sorry >_<

7) Used to find sticking the water pipe up dad’s car exhaust amusing. Even better when the water pipe was turned on. Dad wondered why the car didn’t start next morning. Found this out whilst washing his car. Kids and boredom do not go well in most cases.

Stole dad’s Scout pen-knife and decided to go Rambo. Was cutting some twigs to make an arrow when I sliced off the flesh on my left index finger. Cut was so deep, it hit bone. No shit. I endured the pain for a couple of days until I noticed it oozing yellowish-brown substance. Dad fixed me up reallll good after that. He cleaned the wound and poured Iodine on it. I guess that is how I’ve developed some resistance to pain. Sadist!

9) Used to fold paper planes and parachute-like soldiers during my APIIT KL college days. A bunch of us would then open the windows on the 10th floor or so and launch the said items. Closed the windows and observed them fly!!!! Many a paper plane and brave paratrooper died under the crunch of Petaling Street’s traffic. A moment of silence for the men of the, [aSa] School of Aviation and Flight wing.

10) Made calls from a public phone to the eejit, who called and cursed one of my friends in the wee hours of morning with phrases like, “Good morning, it’s time to go to the loo”. Took turns doing this a couple of times.

11) Terrorized the couples in mini-Genting with our fireworks. Sometimes with homemade timers to enable swift escape from the “crime scene”.

12) Pranked my mom’s friend by imitating our kettle whistling when the water was boiling. She would run frantically to turn off the gas, only to find the kettle safely stored in the cabinets. Sorry Aunty Mae Jae! I’m such a devil.

There are so many more, but I’m running out of steam to type. Furthermore, some of them are better carried with me to my grave. For those who happened to cross my path during my mischevious streaks, I’m really sorry for all the trouble and trauma I’ve caused. Let me make it up to you with a firecracker in your letterbox. Ooooppss, that makes it 13 for now. ^__^”

I can’t really recall when was the last time I posted something amusing/funny. So please enjoy this gem, courtesy of my dear wife.

I arrived home at about 10.00pm last night and boy was I hungry. I was halfway chomping down on my dinner, when all of a sudden my wife comes rushing into the kitchen with a half-scared, half-amused and half-disgusted look. She squealed about a two-headed cockroach in our bedroom. Hoping to see some X-men mutant cockroach, I rushed to the bedroom lest I missed it. Probably could catch it and sell it to some biolab or something or maybe to a freak circus. Maybe I’ll let it bite me and see if I develop cockroach superpowers, just like Spideyman.

Upon seeing the cockroach, I burst out laughing and my wife gave me the wadafak(tm) look. I just told her to leave the two lovebird cockroaches alone. Turns out our “mutant” cockroach were actually cockroaches; a male and female doing the horizontal hanky-panky (more like vertical in this case), right on her wardrobe door. Felt so <i>pai seh</i> to have barged in on their intimate moment. I left to continue my dinner.

Someone tell me why I shouldn’t love my wife now? She even has entertainment for me during meals!!! I’m so gonna die for this post, but who cares. I hope it puts a smile on your face as it did for me.

Cheers!