[Nawooz.Com.My]

first of all, i need to apologise for not keeping the blog updated. my primary PC has been afflicted by a strange disease. it is diagnosed, terminal with no or less hope of recovery. a moment of silence for a faithful friend over the years.

on with today's topic. a little scenario. strange music wafting through the air. occasionally, interruped by laughter and some chatter from the crowd. everything alien yet oddly alluring. smell of tobacco lingering and just a faint wiff of liquor permeates the upholstery. the night progresses on and the scene becomes more upbeat. everyone is out just to have fun. deep down, you find refuge in the silence of your will. do people get their rush from the atmostphere or is it just the booze? how about the euphoria, which is just as addictive as the amphetamines banned not long ago. the line between relaxation and decadence is blurred. senses numbed and lulled by the music and perhaps the people around. what i think of it? well, nothing much but the usual, been there done that shit. the night is young, maybe there are better things out there. i wonder if june is in one of the nightspots nearby.

am i free? au contraire (sp?) out of the frying pan into the fire. of to another spot named liquid. wonder if it is any better there?

emo: numb 

let's play a little imagination game today. imagine if you lost everything involving technology or comforts like, the Internet, your PC, your PDA, your handphone, your MP3 player, your TV, your microwave, your radio, your...you get the picture right? how long do you think you would last before falling off, into the abyss of insanity. a month, a week, a day?

people actually pay ridiculous amounts of money to have this exacted upon them. some spiritual getaway holiday. you are stripped of all technology stuff, even your watch, so that you won't be worried about time, upon arrival at the resort. located in a remote rainforest or island, all you will be equipped with is Mother Nature and some well deserved R&R (rest and relax). no phonecalls. no news. no music. no e-mails. no connection with the outside world. you would think people would go back to their normal lives changed. sadly, it never happens. once they are given those items upon their return trip, the whole routine begins. it is a vicious cycle!

how long will i survive without my gadgets? well, i have yet to try this, but i think i just may live through the better part of it. how long do you think you would last, is my parting question for the day dear folks.

emo: pondering ponderus ponderosa

what defines a hopeless romantic? is it only given to those, who are actually romatic people but then have zilch in terms of execution? what are your opinions on a romantic person? is it overly cliched by the media and by people, in general? does a romantic dinner involve fancy clothes, an oppulent dining experience? you know the guy in tux, lady in an evening dress and candles. how about shorts/jeans and t-shirts for both but involves a picnic basket? it is really subjective and depends entirely on what pushes your 'omgheorsheissoromantic' buttons. but hey, even if you have expectations and pre-conceptions, don't throw away your partners idea. it's the thought that matters. you may just live to find out how absolutely romantic they really are! open mind, open heart and you open doors (to happiness). get it? even if fails, you will have lived another brand new experience.

how about a proposal or a wedding? if you think a romantic dinner does't live up to your expectations, try imagining your marriage. waking up beside a person you suddenly realise is not, who you want to spend your lifetime with. yes, yes...i agree we all should have expectations and dreams, but don't let that destroy what you may experience. live to learn, shall be my new motto now.

so, who else joins me in my quest as a hopeless romantic or so i think. i'm learning.

emo: a forge has been lit by small embers of Hope, it kindles the heart and will slowly burn, surely, slowly, steady. 

easier said than done. i am faced with the decision to actually enjoy the closeness to home or venture forth to seek my fortune elsewhere. torn between wants, needs and necessity. i'm excited at the prospect of starting life afresh in a new place but then worry about what i am leaving behind. come to think of it, it's nothing much really. except my dear family. the choice now lies in my hands. the heart and mind does not synchro and this is killing me. sigh. if only things were black and white in life. but i guess half the fun is getting to know if your choice is screwed or it was gold.

this just in, my company, well not exactly, is undergoing a change. the CEO just stepped down and for now it seems that there is going to be some small changes. it all goes to show, there is only one certainty in life, CHANGE! the year of the rooster is fast to show it's feathers.

i guess this has helped me in my decision. time to move on perhaps? here's to wealth, health and good luck to all.

emo: torn

ever had the urge to go mad and do something mad? well i have! and it is right about now. i'm in the office now, in my cold cubicle. i feel like making some weird animal noises while pulling my hair and running around disturbing my colleagues. wonder if the management would take kindly of the sudden outburst of madness.

my bouts of madness have not been limited to the workplace.i have driven aimlessly countless times because i didn't feel like going home. i've travelled back and forth stations with my unlimited journey pass. i have done many stupid stuff, which seems on the brink of madness before. i have been involved in some inane shit business when i was young. i still have the urge to be mad although i am getting old. who else joins me in my madness syndrome? who would like to participate in mindless shit other than my crew of hoodlums. we 'bomb' couples at mini Gentings, we travel up Gentings 4 hours before the Chinese New Year dinner and make it back on time. how about stalking that lone cyclist at night while driving? you should have seen the poor blokes face. sheer terror has an amazing facial expression to accompany the emotion.

am i getting too old for this shit. you betcha! but i ain't gonna stop till i drop. madness is what keeps me alive. who else would be mad enough to live in this mad world anyway, right. so i guess everyone out there has a hint a madness in them too. mad people of the world UNITE! that goes the same for you too dr. loonie goon...haha!

emo: can't you guess already...it's pure, sheer, utter, fantastic, smashing, stupendoues, horrendoues, delicious, bodacious madness!!!!!!! wooohoooo