boys and girls, a lesson in pathology
this will be the first and last time, i promise. trust your gut (pun intended) when it comes to food. i had this cup of ramen sitting in my locker since God knows when. i scanned the packaging for the expiry date, but could not find any. this should have served as my first warning. so i figured, hey what the heck. it’s dried foodstuff and decided to go ahead in chowing them stale ramen.
my second warning should have hit home right there and then, but i blame it on the mild flu i am having. it kinda screws with your judgement. the seasoning packet felt stiff to the touch and i found the powder had lumped into this solid block of cancer causing chemical additive. someone was trying to tell me something, but i chose not to listen. add some hot water and then closed the lid and let thermal magic work its’ stuff.
now, i have tasted many types of ramen (instant noodles) in my life. none as foul as this! the ramen itself had this plastic-ky taste to it. hooray for my blocked nose, i was waylaid into thinking it was the freeze-dried mushrooms. however, after two forkfulls, something told me to stop or be doomed and so i complied. i then decided it would be better to go out for lunch. i’ve been couped up in the office in front of my monitor long enough, the past couple of days.
fast forward to a much later time, nausea hit me like a fat stinking whale (no offense to the poor persecuted mammals) and for the third time in my entire life, i felt like puking my guts out. thankfully, a steady stream of work from my “faithful” users kept me busy. i still felt like shit throughout the period of time though. oh wahey! turns out the 2 forkfulls must have packed a punch in my guts. i am now officially “poisoned” by a cup of suspicious ramen. i should have just said yes to Dory’s offer of good old Gardenia bread, so good you can even eat it on its’ own.
so boys and girls…what is the moral of the story? stay the hell away from ramen with no expiry date, which has been sitting in your locker for ages and then ignoring all the warning signs of impending gut-busting, puke-inducing, head-thomping unadulterated vile evil…where was i? oh yeah…eat healthy and stay away from the junk food. stay safe. i’m gonna go see if i can get the crap, out of my system.
see, the Japs are not done with their vision of world conquest.They’re trying to poison us with bad, smelly noodles that they package off with a marketing campaign featuring Utada Hikaru.That coupled with Japanese porn should serve as an alarm to all- Here comes the Bicycle Army again!
hey hey…don’t be so anti Japs. they are the ones, who brought us Sony, Toyota, Honda, Yamaha and Utada Hikaru kayyyy. hehe. it’s my fault lar for eating that crap. anyway, i’m sticking to made in Malaysia Maggi mee from now onwards.
Probably u should also bear in mind the expiry for any kind of food.but u know what i’m not practising what i preach either. me still stuffing green tea which had already expired for 2 months. i think tea bags is still fine till they turn mouldy. haha… wish me luck then! hope u feeling better dude!!
hehe…thanks angel. thing is, i couldn’t find the expiry date. must be some conspiracy to poison all of us. anywho, you be careful with the green tea too. don’t end up like me. i am still feeling nauseous and on top of that, my flu-like symptoms have not abated. thank God it’s friday. hopefully i won’t have to run around this weekend. need to get that much needed R&R to recharge my batteries.
wow.u guys would actually drink tea that is green?say I guess i could try that kelantanese blue rice
it’s called nasi dagang Emm. and don’t worry. a little blue dye will not hurt anyone. besides, you get the chat up the hot chick doctor and explain to her, why your intestines are blue anywayz.
aiyoo….poor thing….but blame ur ignorance lar. the stiff packet was a DEAD give-away. not like my (once ago) fav ramli burger. there were NO signs of the on-coming avalanche of crap coming my way n damn, it tasted good!! but not even half hour later, i was ‘queen of the throne’. the spell lasted throughout the freaking night n i swear, that even though i felt like puking AND crapping simulteneously, there really wasnt anything left in me to bring out.
THAT was the WORST night of my life n i’ve sworn off that ramli burger for ever and this was a few yrs ago. sigh…..but on the bright side, one less thing i can live without if ever i go travelling overseas.
heh. 
LMAO.How can u puke and Crap at the same time la wei.thats like sneezing with your eyes open.
Your system will be confused.
Yea.I also wanna have a talk to this En Ramli over some of my experiences eating his mash-pattied animal lip,tongue and paw deceivingly flavored with half a truck of ajinomoto
Yvy, been there done that. Crashed it. the setting, Bangkok roadside stalls. oh yeah! word of advice, never.ever.try.those! unless of course a local takes you there. i still shudder at the term food poisoning when i think about that time. i really have to thank my mom for checking us in for tours while i was sick. tour bus with no loo. hell yeah!
Actually, it’s not Ramly burger per se. it’s the darn standards of hygiene, or lackoff, at them stalls. the one reason why i never makan maggi goreng, mee goreng or nasi goreng at mamaks. they use the same friggin wok and food spatula the whole day. ewwwww! at least the char kuay teow stalls heat the wok and use water to sorta clean it every now and then.
Emm, the system was already confused with the plethora of crap happening. i am blessed (cursed) with excellent detection in these circumstances. this time i knew it was bad as i’ve never felt the urge to puke, except 3 times in my life previously. also, once again in defense of En. Ramly, the Aji-No-Moto or MSG is the fault of the burger stalls.
emmanuel : may not b possible but that THAT moment in time, nothing was impossible. then again, i just FELT like it. didnt really happen lar.
nawooz : pls….i havent been there YET but i’m dying to try out those fried insects. save or not?
trust me on this. i’m a pro, so kids, don’t try this at home. the general of thumb. if it moves, then it’s not safe. if it’s crispy, you’re good to go. personally, i wait for the latest batch to be fried. this knowing, the amount of dust gets churned up at the roadside.
try the deep-fried scorpions. also, "cook anything long enough, and it’ll taste like chicken".
missing the general RULE of thumb. tsk tsk tsk.
LOL.Wei what some more news from HP?
*takes out notebook n writes down criteria of how dead/cripy creatures should be before consumption.*
Emm, there are loads happening in HP. but if i tell you, i’m afraid i’m gonna have to kill ya. you know, top secret on-a-need-to-know-basis stuff.
Yvy, i see greatness in the making. good understudy. if you are free, i will divulge the secrets of the universe for you. like, "Why can’t men leave the toilet seats down?!!".
Aiyoooh!!! I bet Skirmish Paintballs taste better than that ramen and doesn’t even cause nausea! Hehehe! I miss reading your blog Nawoooz!! But I’m back!!
i thought men left it UP.hehe, yea ok.kill me…pls do so.the sadness of this world makes me, err, sad.
mhay: 10 seconds liiiive! glad to see you back girl! ikaw kamusta ka na?
Emm: the joys of a dude having his own toilet. in regards to leaving it up, guys do that as they can’t shoot straight sometimes. the seats down only makes matters worse. so women screaming about leaving it down and guys arguing about leaving it up, has it’s ups and downs (pun not intended).
i would rather want to know, why men think that women are mad at them when you ask us something n we go, ‘no, nothing lar…’
it’s the same thing when women ask us the trick question, "Honey, do i look fat?". and then they add the kicker line, "Be honest about it". so here i am, left in a lurch. if i’m honest, i might end up sleeping with the dog. if i am not, you will still doubt my answer. left or right we lose.
i used to have this lil’ something with my then girlfriend. whenever i asked her what’s wrong or what she was thinking about, and she gave me that response, i would use my index finger and point it gently on her forehead and concentrated like i was reading her mind. usually she ended up grinning and then let me in on her concern, worry, bla bla bla et cetera. so i guess, the answer is not that simple, but here goes. this applies for both genders, quit beating round the bush and playing games. you are only making matters worse. keep communication clear at all times. having said that, being the prober, you should tread with caution when probing the probee for answers. don’t force the person to spill their heart and soul there and then. sometimes it just takes a little coaxing and time. don’t be frustrated if all attempts lead to a deadend. just focus on something else for a while and then skillfully move back to the topic. they maybe more receptive now. for me, the alien mind-reading finger technique worked. break the tension with a little humour and then show them that you are sincerely ready to listen to whatever they have to say.
the situation is never really clear-cut at all times, so use your own imagination and experiment. grow together. it’s fun. ok, now i’m gonna go into a corner and cry these eyes out. ish ishhh…emo time. BWAAAAAA (T_T)
i agree with you!