Chapter 32: sooner or later
this might not be your cup of tea, but there is one certainty in life…death. i am not going to dwell too much on the subject of dying, but i suddenly recall a conversation i had with mei ling a long time ago. it was pertaining to the question, “what song do you want to be played at your funeral?”. her choice…”i’ll be missing you by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans”, which was used to commemorate the death of Notorious BIG.
i have loved both, the video and also classical background of “i’ll see you when you get there by Coolio”. the lyrics expresses my sentiments to the dot. my favourite scene in the music video is where this guy is standing on the edge of a bridge and he takes a step forward into the ocean below. everything freezes at that moment while he is walking off the bridge with his hands raised and eyes looking upward. it really gives me the spine-chills when i watch it.
how many out there are afraid of death i wonder. ever since the passing of both my grandmothers, i have lost that fear. it attribute this to the sudden loss of both. my maternal grandma had a heart attack while we were sleeping beside her and she passed away enroute to the hospital. she came all the way from Thailand to spend her last days with her daughter and grandchildren in Malaysia. never had the chance to let her know i love her, but somehow i think she knows.
my paternal grandma was not so lucky. she suffered a stroke and was bed-ridden for nearly 2 years. it was heart-wrenching to see her healthy body wither into the shell she was before finally taking her last breath. again, i did not grasp the opportunity to let her know i love her. there was no goodbyes to say. i wonder what i would do different, if i was given the chance to go back in time.
emo: down and out of luck
